You wake

You wake to the beating drum,

Of the rain falling like it’s the only one.

Your eyes lift true,

Your body shuffles through.

You watch as a film takes you back to the sunset,

You watch as the clock ticks on until your eyes have met.

Downstairs you tred, softly as a led weight,

In the kitchen you find waiting, the awkwardness and the stress.

Bread you toast, toast you butter,

Mackerel you open and create a tonne of clutter.

Anxiety is at a bubbling low,

Ready to click the on switch and blow.

It takes just a few words, from her:

She won’t be cooking dinner tonight…hold your thirst.

Shit. Crap. Holy smokes.

The heart starts to thump,

The beat starts to flunk.

Why something so simple flips you to breath a tinkle.

Why something so okay flips you to be seeing nothing but hay.

“Survival, I’m holding everything, I can’t relax” is what flutters through,

But beneath that is a saying – a knowing – that everything will be okay.

It always is.

Fear not peachy one,

What will be will be.

But what about the doctor’s appointment I was supposed to go to this morn?

Will I, won’t I?

What about the allotment I was going to go and check out and receive the keys for?

Will I, won’t I?

What about the friend I could meet for coffee, which would just be so lovely?

Will I, won’t I?

What about the train that I need to catch in 40 minutes if I’m going to do all this?

What about choosing just a few?

What about just making sure you look after you, with gentle challenges, not a tonne that will send you askew?

What about that, eh?

Eh.

I don’t know. I don’t know. Eh. I will walk to the train, and I will see. I will decide not to decide until I set foot out the door. A bit of fresh air always brings it clear. And time does too, so I’ve heard. And so I’ve learnt too.

Let the light of hope flicker beneath your wings, and know life is on your side so eagerly await what it will bring.

Love.

And, on a quick little side note – knee deep in an anxiety bubble this morning, I just happened to see that I have been nominated for an award – the super sweet blogging award! The first one ever, and it left my heart warm, my heart smiling, and my face grinning.

So, from me to you, thank you tonnes Archana, at http://smileinstyle.wordpress.com/ – check her out, she always shares snippets of wisdom and inspiration to light up your day.

It came at the most appropriate time, so thank you. Enjoy your day folks xox

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s