There’s no magic fix. There’s no overnight wand.

What is now, might be better than before. What is now might be uncomfortable as hell, but it means you can cope. What is now might hurt, it might burn, it might eat away at your hope, happiness and daily being. But is that perhaps better than what was before?

Frustration, let-down, fear, worry, determination, disgust, doubt, mistrust, anxiety, potential trauma predicting, regret, self hate, self loathing, wishing, wanting, hoping, longing, despairing, more doubting, wondering, heartbreak, more predicting, assumptions…

All this in a five minute phone call.

I can’t let them in,

Out of fear of misdiagnosis, and triggers,

Yet I can’t bare the lack of support.

I don’t know what to do.

Apart from hope.

Open your eyes to the shit, open your eyes to what is, and amongst that there is hope. There always is. There just cannot not be.


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