Ever get those days when you just feel really weird? My life has been so full of crazy adventures, wacky hippy parenting, ridiculous events, incredible and beautiful events, haunting events, intense events, traumatic events, and just plain WEIRD events. So many that I don’t even know where to start. It began right from the day I was conceived, to this current day now. Although it has gradually begun to get a little less weird and softer on the wacky hippy front over the last six months. But some days I would just trade all of these experiences and stuff that has made me who I am, to just a portion of stability and normality (not that that really exists, I know). As a kid I used to look around and wonder whether other kids lived the lifestyle we did. Turned out they didn’t. But then we all live a different one to the other, it is just ours was quite unique. In a good way and a bad way. And during my adult hood I have done the same – looked around at my friends, wondering why they don’t jam pack all these adventures and jobs abroad into their life. Some have done, some haven’t, but I love them all just the same. And now I connect with those who have lived a similar journey to myself – those who have taken the long road, some might say. In other moments I know I wouldn’t change a thing, but these moments feel very fleeting at the moment. But I am reassured that this will come back to stay – I will grow grateful for all that I have seen and done and been through. And I have felt that for years, it is only now I crave stability and a lifetime of normality.
This worry for my weirdness also bounces off to a worry of what I am like for other people. Some days I am convinced I am just simply unknowable – I am so weird, how would people want to be my friend?! But then I will bring myself back to a memory of something someone has said, or take a look at photographs of my friends and I, and I am reminded that in actual fact I am a little weird. But then we ALL are weird!
I had this realisation walking through Miami airport back in February this year. Snoozing on the seats as I waited for my flight to Panama, I suddenly realised that WE ARE ALL WEIRD. Something about that place really made it clear. Looking around I suddenly lost that alone feeling I have so often felt with my weirdness. Hold on a sec, we all have these weird quirky different sides, it is what makes us us. And those who appear that they don’t, are simply good at hiding it – be it through fear or life habit. But it’s there. It always is. Sometimes you just have to get your little spade out and have a gentle rummage.
In the midst of this doubting of my weirdness and my ability to be loved or to love my life, I mention above, I took to doodling these doubts out with another cartoon. There will be many of them headed up on here over the next few weeks as I just cannot seem to stop the doodling.
And here is some reassurance from the wise and wonderful Dr. Seuss:
Lastly, I would like to finish with a weird photograph I just happened to find from about four years ago. I was going to upload a few, but to try to pick between the hilarious and weird photographs I have of myself would just be too hard. So we’ll have to save that for another day.
Until then, embrace the weirdness and the silliness and remember it’s all part of you, and that you is PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.