Please give me a break.
Please let me feel able to relax.
Please let me feel able to enjoy life and bathe in all that it brings, the good and the not so easy. With you I just feel like i’m hanging into life by a string.
I feel mad.
I feel breathless.
I feel agitated.
I feel totally terrified of…nothing in particular, just LIFE.
I feel weird.
I feel disconnected.
I feel frustrated.
I feel unable to get angry with you. And this makes me feel stuck because I know if I can get pissed at you I feel invigorated and inspired and I know I CAN DO THIS. But right now your grip is holding me tight.
I know you’re trying to help. I know you’re full of care and with an aim to protect.
But you don’t. You hinder.
Not all of me can see that yet. I still want you, I still think I need you.
You are my comfort zone, you are my ease.
But that’s the funny grip, the funny hold, that you have on me.
You make me feel helpless and scared and the only way to get through life is to live on FULL ALERT at all times to avoid danger.
But what if it doesn’t need to be like that?
This is what you make me:
And this is what I want to be, and I know I so can be, and more importantly AM beneath it all:
So how about it Anxiety – lets make a deal.
You and me together, you can take a break. Go have a lifelong cup of tea and know that your job here is done. I thank you for all that you’ve shown me, taught me and protected me from. But the truth is, I don’t need you anymore. I need the freedom that life can bring. It doesn’t need to be this terrifying journey. So how about it? Let me step foot out there, with all your teachings in hand and see what life brings.