As the shadows fall

As the shadows fall and the nights draw close,

I look outside to the thunder and think of what I love the most.

I feel this in me, so longing to shine, blossom, and grow.

I feel this radiance blocked by a continual flow,

Of negativity and pressure and should’s,

Of worries, and fears and would’s.

As I long to cradle this need for love in the arms of my own,

I can’t help but feel like the words I say to myself only make my heart stone.

I have one side of me that’s shining and one side that’s burning.

The heat of the latter could bring an iceberg to shatter,

Yet the glow of the first, should be all that mattered.

Maybe one day, the two will blend?

Maybe one day this isolation and pain will end?

Although I know it never will,

I know life will always hand us turmoil and thrills,

I don’t really mind this,

Provided I can survive this.

Provided my parts can blend,

Into a being who’s strength will never end.

I long for health and energy and vibrance,

Rather than living in either a wired angst, or a sleepy trance.

But as I want to trust the above, I also want to trust this.

That as time flows on, and this work moves forward,

This healing will bring with it bounds of energy and light.

Bounds of what I have wanted to be all my life.

Bounds of what I think I can be if I keep trying with all my might.

Love to you beautiful souls. I share with you one of my favourite songs of all time. This video is a treasure, so put it on repeat and let it flow through your bones and remind you how it feels to be alive.

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5 thoughts on “As the shadows fall

  1. I love this video. Somehow, I am in love with the boy’s woolly jumper. Don’t ask, it is something to do with the naturalness, and the feel of scratchy hairy wool on the bare skin.
    The fire and ice feelings in your poem have come through in my paintings in the past, not so long after the trauma happened. It was like fire trapped inside the iceberg. It made no sense at the time, and yet makes sense completely now.

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