What’s buried beneath

Depression lingers,

Like time far gone.

I can feel it coming;

I can hear its feet.

It hits you like a tonne of red edged bricks,

Bringing a heaviness

And a glass bottomed boat,

To all that has been before,

And to all pain that has carved your floor.

Self hatred rips itself

At the seems

Of your soul

For all that’s been thrown

And all that’s been hit.

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No time like the present,

I hear my heart sing,

To feel and bask

In all that was buried.

To swim through the muck

That was dealt to your plate.

With creativity and a stake

In what life is about.

What opens your eyes

To the brighter way of being,

Is what also rips deep.

The feelings seem vast.

Everlasting.

Eternal.

And so so frightful.

But maybe they’re life?

Maybe they’re making you.

photo 2-17

Notice the grief:

Let it bubble and surface.

Notice the loss:

Let those tears fall,

Because you deserve it ALL and more.

For the first time in your life,

You’re safe to feel.

And feel you do.

It brings you to your knees,

But knowing it’s healing

Brings a gentle breeze

Of reassurance and a knowing

That all needs to be listened to

And seen,

Not buried and stuffed

Like you’re a machine.

You’re human too,

And you’re hurting too.

Let this pain soften

With the care of others.

Let this grief be shared

With words and tears.

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For no journey needs to be a lonesome one,

And no growth needs to just be a painful time.

Bask in the beauty

And creativity of your process.

Know you’re together with others

In the same place,

Even if far from you

And not to be seen,

They are there with you,

Like a little Breakdown Team:

Working together to heal,

To feel

All that has been kept

And hidden

From all of us

For all those years.

Well now it is yours.

It’s ours.

And yes it hits hard,

Yes it is brutal

But YES it is YOU

And you are beautiful.

So go

be all of you.

Because,

EVERY PART OF YOU SHINES.

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8 thoughts on “What’s buried beneath

  1. “Like a little Breakdown Team,”
    yeeahhh, that’s what it’s like! I’m back home now, and have caught up on my emails and blog-reading. Love your shell photo in particular. Feeling and healing really do go together. Your poetry expresses your feelings, and yet there’s always that sunny nature of yours shining through and encouraging others. I think of that part of you as being like the sunflowers in your other photo…
    Lotsa love,
    Jessie

    • You’re so lovely, thank you. I loved the thought of the ‘breakdown team’ too! Suddenly makes you realise you are not alone in this, and that there are so many millions of others going through something right now, and every single person has a crisis of some kind in their life. It just can feel as though it’s only you sometimes, and that everyone else is just that little bit more ‘together’…! Turns out we’ve all got our baggage 🙂 xx

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