One long hangover

the nausea
of chronic fatigue
whirls
and stays.
it cripples
days
leaving them
hazed with
a nauseas ache,
an acute pain,
sensitive eyes,
sensitive head,
sensitive bod.

brief moments come
and the nausea
fades.
but in these moments
the tasks that
must be done
outweigh the
urge for
a break
and fun.

so the nausea
hits again
because
you’ve done too much
in an effort
to stay on top
of your dwindling life.

Bird_tattoo_82

the day goes
up
down
up down,
spinning
and spinning
from your head
to the ground.

it’s one long
intense hangover
that comes in
waves
just like a normal one
does.
except this one
hasn’t been
invited
by fifteen pints
of beer
and
a pack of cigarettes.
this one has
been invited
just because
it fucking wants to.

how can something
so simple
so known
become impossible
to push through?

how can something
I once only knew
as an aftereffect
of a shed load of
fun,
now be something
I know
just because
of nothing.

I’m 25
not 78.
I want to thrive
in this life
yet on days like this
all i can do is
walk the pace of a snail,
wrap myself up,
stay out of the sun,
away from screens,
with closed eyes,
and if open
just absorbed
in a book.

i hold myself
as i cry
from the pain
the aches
the spinning
the nausea
that cannot
be soothed by
nuffin’.

to text
to reply
to speak
takes so much
effort
through this
haze of crap,
yet I will
always continue to
because that’s
what keeps me
me
and that’s what
keeps me going.
and,
that’s what i’ll
always have
as a priority.

losing myself to
the sickness
and the pain
is something
I’ll never fully do.
but on days like
this
it’s impossible
not to.

maybe tomorrow
i’ll be back.
and maybe one day
i’ll have a hangover
that’s
for real again.
and,
i cannot wait.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “One long hangover

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s