The woman in me

I become the woman in the TV series I watch. I become the woman I go for a walk with. I become the woman I have a coffee with. I become the woman I talk with on the phone. I become the woman I turn to for support. I become the woman I read about in my book. I become the woman whose book I read. I become the woman I hold a photograph of.

But I don’t become the woman in me.

Who am I?

I can’t seem to hold onto, or seemingly find, my unique identity.

I long to just become me. I long to just be the woman in me. I long to spend time with the women in my life and not become them. I long to know my own identity enough to not become someone else’s. I long to own my personality enough to not become someone else’s.

I long not to drift to the shore I’ve always known, and instead to paddle or float or ride on the ocean within me.

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One thought on “The woman in me

  1. Hi! I just read your “About” page. You have plenty of self-ness there. A history like that makes for a resilient, courageous, insightful person. Just hang in there. You’re so young and, as you say, are just beginning a healing process. Being curious about or emulating other women is a natural way to think about who you really are inside. It’s like reading books to find out how you think. You’ll find self-esteem, and a healthy identity, through healing. Go for it. Relax. Find what’s playful for you and enjoy it. It took me over 60 years to develop into the woman I am (and I like me!). I felt the same way at your age. Then I just got better through the years. Lead from your heart and you’ll be fine. But that photo is SO SAD !! Find a HAPPY PICTURE and look at it closely. You’re in that picture, too. See yourself? 🙂 Lily

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